The letter is in the mail. Tomorrow or the day after, my boss will recieve my letter of resignation. Immediately after putting the letter in the mailbox, a feeling of horror came over me. What did I do? I just quit a teaching job when it is impossible to get a teaching job (at least in NY). I just gave up a really nice salary. I am not tenured so I could not just extend my leave and take a year sabbatical. It was all or nothing. What the hell was I thinking?
Once that momentary panic subsided, I felt relief. I was so miserable in that job for so long. Now, I found the most important reason there is to quit a job. I am still nervous and I feel slightly unprepared for the challenges that living on one income will throw our way. But, I feel confident that we can weather the storm.
On a side note, today marks the longest stretch of time I have spent alone with my daughter. My husband usually gets home around 3:45 and we share baby duty until bedtime. During the night, my husband will get up for one feeding and I take care of the rest. However, my husband's school had parent/ teacher conferences tonight and he will not be home until 8:30 pm.
For most moms, this would only present a slight challenge. But my daughter is a special case. She has severe GERD and feeding her is a battle that takes up the overwhelming majority of my day. Sometimes a single 5 oz bottle will take 2 hours to get down her. She also has Torticollis and requires daily stretches that she despises. Oh, she also has a wicked case of colic. We are talking 5-7 hours of screaming, not crying, per day. Some days are better than others. Today was not such a day.
For days like this, Xanax is my best friend.
But even on her worst day, my daughter is amazing and I wouldn't trade her in for the quietest baby, the easiest feeder, the happiest and squishiest baby. She may be a pain in the butt, but she is my pain in the butt and I am so proud to be her mother.
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