While Evangeline sleeps, I want to get down some of what has been going on.
1) My daughter likes to beat the shit out of her face. Seriously. She has this nightly ritual that she does when she is going to bed and it culminates with a nightly face-beating. It begins innocently enough. She starts moaning and whining a little and rubbing her face into me or Alex. That is our cue to put her to bed. Once in bed, she brings her hands her to her mouth and yells at them. Her eyes will be closed the entire time. It is pretty funny. I don't know what her hands did to offend her, but there must have been a serious transgression there. After her hands have been properly chastised and she has stopped yelling, it becomes time to beat herself up. She flails her arms about pretty violently and whacks them onto her little face again and again. At first, we tried stopping this, but we learned soon enough that this is what she had to do to fall asleep. But, make no mistake, that shit hurts. I have put my face next to hers while she is doing this and have taken a hit from her arms. It's no joke man, she is a strong little stinker.
2) Evangeline seems to develops grosser and grosser habits with each passing day. Here are two of these gross habits. The first is drooling. Now, I know that it is just because she has started the teething process, but it does not make it any prettier. She drools constantly. I would not be the least bit surprised if she drools her body weight everyday. We are talking continual streams of drool. She is like a St. Bernard. Secondly, she has realized that she can lift things up to her mouth. She has also realized that it is fun to shove things in her mouth and chew on them. The two of these put together have made for some interesting moments. She loves to chew on her fists and her blankets. However, my daughter does not discriminate. Whatever she can grasp is fair game. So, she has chewed on stuffed animals, a Xmas ornament, my scarf, my cat's tail (don't ask), my hair, you name it. What makes it even nastier is that she shoves whatever she has in her hand, so far down her throat that she gags. She will take her hand out and wait until the gagging subsides and shove it back in again and gag again. It is like a game to her. It is a game that has ended in vomit more than once. Fun for her, I guess. My baby is just a gross weirdo.
3) I joined Weight Watchers online. It sucks. I hate it. I am hungry. I have lost 4 lbs in 3 days, so I am going to stick with it. But, I will bitch about it every chance I get.
4) Malls are really the armpit of commerce. Since I am not a shopper, I do not frequent malls, but I know that will be changing now that I have a baby. When it is too cold to do anything else and I need to get out of the house, I will go walk the mall. But it doesn't mean I have to like it. This is what I don't get about malls: when did the marketers decide that assaulting shoppers sense of sight, hearing, and smell is good business sense. I went yesterday to pick up a few things that I absolutely needed. I went in and went out and was done within an hour. But, the headache I got while at the mall lasted all day. First, the music that blasts out of every store is way too loud and is awful. It is all that fist-pumping crap. Like, if you are going to blast music, pick something good at least. So, my hearing was assaulted. Next, I had to deal with the smells. I assume that the amount of putrid cologne that wafts out of every teen clothing store has a purpose. It cannot possibly be to lure the customer in because of how awful the smells are. No, it must be something else. I have a theory that the strength of the scent makes the shopper dizzy and disoriented and more likely to make unwise shopping decisions. Whatever the reason, now my sense of smell was attacked. Finally, enough with the neon lights and dancing light beams and high intensity ceiling lights. It hurts the eyes and does not make me want to look at the merchandise. With my senses completely beaten up, I left with a raging headache and a pissed off baby that woke up every time we passed a store playing that techno shit. Malls suck.
Anyway, the tanks empty, that's all I got for now. Later.
No comments:
Post a Comment