I need to devote a blog entry to something I lovingly call the Facebump. But first, I should explain what the Facebump is. Back when I found out I was pregnant, I stumbled across a website called thebump.com. It was all about babies and pregnancy, and since I was clueless about both, I joined. I settled into a group where all members had due dates in September.
It was really nice, as we were all going through the same things at roughly the same time, and a nice comradarie developed. Over time, we stopped posting on the bump and started posting as a private group on Facebook.
This private group was called September Sweet Peas. We had our babies and have become a wonderful support for each other.
The 294 members of the group come from all walks of life, are scattered across the country, are a mixed bag of races and religions, and have wildly different opinions on all topics. Despite this, and this is not to say that there are not personality conflicts and that everyone shits rainbows, we come together when it counts.
Out of a group of strangers, real relationships have developed. I have been fortunate to live close to a few of the girls and have hung out with them, not just as moms, but as friends. It is not just us girls that live on Long Island that have met up. Girls have been meeting each other all over the country. There is even a giant get together planned for this summer in Chicago.
We know each other's secrets, we know each other's strange dreams, we have shared advice, asked for help, vented, raged. We talk about every topic under the sun, nothing is off-limits. Sex...check, religion...check, politics...check. Oh, I should mention that we do, from time to time, fight with each other. Sometimes the fights are with love behind them, sometimes it is between girls that really do not like each other.
There is a lot that I could say about what the group means to me. They rallied around me and supported me completely when were told that our daughter was going to be born with a possibly fatal genetic condition. It wasn't just "So sorry, thinking about you". It was "So sorry, thinking about you." followed by days of concerned questions and follow up questions and offers to be my sounding board if I should need one.
Then my daughter landed in the hospital before she was even 2 months old. Once again, my girls raised me up with their genuine concern. These women, most of whom I have never met asked for updates about my daughter all the time. Their collective concern for my child was overwhelming and helped give me the strength I needed.
And, it is not just my child that this love and concern is shown for. Everytime a difficult situation arises for one of the group members, we are there to help lift that person up. And when one of the moms experienced the loss of her child, we did what we could. I am not going to get into the specifics because that story is not mine to tell, but I will be forever touched and in awe of what transpired within our group after that tragedy.
It is such a shame that girls are not shown examples of positive female relationships. TV shows and movies show womens' relations as such a negative thing filled with jealousy, cattiness, and disloyalty. I like to think that we are an example of the best of womens' relations. We are supportive, loving, real. I wish girls could see what we are. I wish girls could see that, even though not everyone is best friends, even though there is some bickering, women can have positive relations with other women. More girls need to see this.
So, to my Sweet Peas...thank you
XOXOXO
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